that’s why I stop talking to you.
I wish that I wouldn’t sound so awkward around you, I wish that you gave me the chance that I’m always looking for. You are beautiful beyond comparison, all I want to do is talk to you but it seems like the feelings aren’t mutual. Every time I get the guts to say hi to you and try and start up a conversation, you either don’t reply or it goes so awkwardly, I swear to you that this isn’t me, I just get tongue tied whenever I talk to such a pretty girl. I hope that one day that I won’t be just a random kid trying to talk to you but someone who you talk to on a daily basis.
I’m trying to cheer up, I really am, I’m trying to find the source of happiness in my life that would keep motivated to keep living in this unpredictable world. However my emotions are very sensitive and very unpredictable at this point, I don’t know when or how I will react to certain things. Hopefully this will pass by soon, I have friends to point my attentions to, family to apologize to and a God I need to find faith in. I know there are many people out there who care for me, my family for one is my support and backbone. Though they do occasionally make jokes and point out my flaws, I’m sure they don’t do it intentionally to hurt me, maybe some are to hurt me. But I want to gain a grasp on life, not to lose to this monster, I’m fighting this beast, I feel like I’m losing but I noticed that I’m not in this fight alone and as the light shines on this fight, I start to gain moral, I start to feel like the wind of change is changing it’s directions. For those out there who are struggling, I understand how you feel, I truly do, but look around you, look very close, everyone of your friends, family, and even God is supporting you 100%, you cannot possibly fail in anything with such support from loved ones. If you don’t feel like that’s the case then talk to me, I can convince you otherwise, ignore all the criticisms, ignore all the ignorant people who don’t know what the feeling of being special is. They see people who have such grace, such beauty, such talent, and they get jealous and mad that a person like you could even exist, you are 1 of a kind, really you are, nobody else is exactly like you, you are special, what you do, what you enjoy doing shouldn’t be halted because people are jealous, you should do it even more because you might actually teach those people on how to be so special just by doing what you do best. Keep your heads up and never forget how special you are.
People tell me that i can’t relate to them, that i don’t know the pain they are going through. It’s true that i could not possibly feel the exact measure of pain they are going through because everyone has different thresh holds for pain, but if you haven’t told me what your damn problem, how could you possibly know whether or not i know the pain you have or not. Everyone has gone through some type of mental and emotional pain themselves, and at some point, we can all relate to each others pain. If you let us in, let us understand your pain maybe we could even ease up that pain, patch up the missing part of you. But if you are going to stay ignorant as to what other people have gone through and that you are not the only one who has gone through pain and suffering then so be it, you just blew off some of the few people who might and are willing to help you out.
so does this make me a fucked up individual or
• We’re not part of your generation anymore. Learn to deal with change.
• Stop comparing us to other peoples’ children. We’re not them, so stop bitching and focus on bettering your own children.
• Your criticism can only go so far, why not provide us with damn encouragment instead?
• Restricting us from everything will only end up biting you in the ass as we find ways to get past it.
• Listen, instead of only speaking your shit and not allow any say on our behalf.